SHEFFIELD STEAL FORGED
West Ham 3 Sheffield United 0
For all their decent form, and their recent victory at Old Trafford, anything other than a comprehensive victory against the Premier League’s bottom team (at the time of writing) might signal the end of West Ham’s fabulous season.
Sheffield United are turned out in a fetching salmon pink second kit, with black shorts. Their number twelve, John Egan, has the perfect lime green combination boots, delivering a sartorial eloquence envied by the dark-suited Covid-cheaters sprinkled liberally around the directors’ box tonight.
Just four minutes into the game, Declan Rice hammers in a free kick from the edge of the box, which the keeper pushes away to his left, and Stevens floors Dawson in the chase for the loose ball. Referee Simon Hooper is the hero, awarding West Ham their first penalty of the season. However, two minutes later, it is rescinded thanks to the eagle eyes of VAR champion Michael Oliver, who has spotted Dawson in an offside position as the kick is taken. My £50 wager on a West Ham season without a penalty is still safe.
Two minutes later, Sheffield United are almost ahead. David McGoldrick not knowing whether to head or fly kick the ball as it comes across to him beyond the straining Hammers’ defenders, in the end does neither, and the ball floats harmlessly out of play. On such moments, games are decided.
Lingard and Bowen are alternating strikers in the makeshift attacking formation without Antonio, but their energy levels seem not to have been affected. McGoldrick has two more decent chances over the half, which are fortunately spurned. My penalty wager is off just before half-time when Basham does exactly that to the advancing Lingard, and the referee has a straightforward decision to make, especially as Michael Oliver is making himself a cup of tea in the Stockley Park kitchen, and there’s no screen by the kettle. We now know from earlier that Declan Rice is the self-appointed penalty taker. As the penalty has been awarded in the 39th minute, I consider whether they can waste a couple of minutes so Rice can score in the 41st minute, wearing the number 41 shirt. He concocts a debate with Lingard about who should take it, which wastes almost a minute. Thankfully he strikes the ball at 40.14, and is hugged by Lingard, probably out of relief that he didn’t miss it. 41 scoring in the 41st minute, giving David Moyes a more comfortable half-time talk than he had been planning.
Early in the second half Fabianski earns his match fee, tipping over a McGoldrick header which clips Johnson on its way goalwards. Sheffield United tower in defence, one of the ingredients of their win at Old Trafford last month, so tonight Issa Diop might be important at corners. Five minutes later Bowen earns the corner which Cresswell plants onto the head of Diop, and the gloved Toulousian confirms a Champions League place in the top four.
Nobes arrives for a 519th appearance, and looks comfortable on the ball. Lingard tests Ramsdale with shots from distance. Fabianski is called into action ten minutes from the end, clutching at a well-directed header from substitute McBurnie.
In the last play of the game, Ryan Fredericks emulates the great Carlton Cole in August 2006, fifteen years ago, by scoring as an injury time substitute to round off a West Ham victory. It’s been a game played without a genuine striker, all three goals scored by defenders, this last one the pick of the three, a shot from just inside the area, low into the corner of the net. A flattering score, perhaps, but Stam will take that.
1 Lucasz Fabianski, 23 Issa Diop, 15 Craig Dawson, 3 Aaron Cresswell, 5 Vladimir Coufal, 41 Declan Rice (c), 31 Ben Johnson, 28 Tomas Souček, 10 Manuel Lanzini, 11 Jesse Lingard, 20 Jarrod Bowen
Substitutes: 16 Mark Noble, 9 Saïd Benrahma, 24 Ryan Fredericks
Scorers: 41 Declan Rice, 23 Issa Diop, 24 Ryan Fredericks
