WHEN THE SAINTS ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF ME
Emirates FA Cup 5th Round
Southampton 2 West Ham 1
West Ham are in the last sixteen of the FA Cup in what is proving to be another excellent season under David Moyes. Yes, but a slightly flukey scramble through from the last round after a barely deserved 2-1 win over second division amateurs Kidderminster Harriers. So what? You have to beat the best to face the rest. Or whatever it is that they say.
Its a Wednesday and a torturous journey here by car because there is no way back home afterwards due to the last train departing at ten, and you’re not going to risk missing extra time and the penalties, though you would also be first in the queue to forego a cramped night in a Premier Inn built close to the runner-up in South Western Trains’ ‘Most Unsalubrious South Coast Station.’
In the bar before the game I am approached by a young man in West Ham colours who exclaims, ‘Martin, you are the voice of my childhood,’ and quotes several lines of commentary from games in the early 1990s long since forgotten to my addled and bereft mind, but I wave a self-deprecating hand at him in thanks and move towards the bar, unsure of what, if anything, I should offer in response.
One of the other articles of note before the game is the revelation that West Ham legend Bill Gardener has spent most of the day trying to get signed up for the Ukraine army, but once they found out he’s 68, he’s been unable to sign. Apparently you need to be 61 or under. Just how random is that?
The poor old Southampton stewards are unable to do their job organising the travelling Hammers fans as they can’t work out where the steps have gone. The supporters are clearly uninterested in positioning themselves sensibly in their allocated seats. I could well be in a different ground to the one intended, such is the dislocation of my geography.
The game finally kicks off after a short delay, and after an early flutter of Southampton attacks, Cresswell hits a classic clearance-cum-through ball to Bowen on the right, ready to fire the trigger before being expertly tackled by Jack Stephens. An even better chance falls to Soucek just inside the area, who strokes it towards the corner with the keeper beaten, but agonisingly wide. Bowen has another chance but steers his header wide when hitting the target looked more straightforward. Then cometh the worldy, just when Hammers are on top. The executioner is Romain Perraud, who on the half hour picks up a loose ball outside the area before hitting a left-footed shot beyond the flailing outstretched hand of Alphonse Areola. The timing of the goal combined with its absolute unstoppability sends the Hammers into a tailspin and it’s all they can do to get to half-time without conceding a second.
Hammers come out for the second half only to be once more under the cosh, Ward-Prowse’s effort a matter of inches from hitting the target. Broja then misses a cross after another furious Saints break down the left. Now it’s West Ham’s time to score against the run of play when Bowen forces a corner, and taking an inswinger the ball comes out to Zouma after the keeper Caballero drops it and then Diop who finds Antonio on the line to stab home the equaliser. What a Willy from Willy. Hoo-fedging-rah. Finally.
That, unfortunately, is the last part of the game when things go well, as after Dawson seemingly tackles Broja in the area at the other end of the pitch to stop a goalscoring opportunity, it appears that his tackle has been broken down into two parts, although only actually represented by one challenge. Of course the first part of this two part but actually only one part challenge is adjudged to have been a foul, so Southampton find themselves with an unexpected penalty, which Ward-Prowse dispatches gleefully. Piece of stench. That man has scored yet another dodgy pen against the Hammers this season. The VAR King. Varking outrageous, if you ask me.
Now Hammers Under The Cosh. Areola makes a stunning one-handed save from Redmond’s superb long range effort. There are four minutes left to take the tie into extra time, and Hammers force a corner which Bowen takes. Dawson, unmarked, heads for the corner, but Caballero claws it away for another corner, which is sadly wasted. Five minutes into injury time Southampton score the winner after the excellent Broja advances past Dawson and finds the corner of the net with a decent effort that gives Areola no chance.
This cup that we’ve been going to win for the first time in forty-one years in Mark Noble’s last season, has just evaporated into the Southampton air, and though we don’t know it yet, it’s going to take us almost the length of another game and a half through miles of unnecessary midnight roadworks before the sanctuary of the home pillow is made available to assuage the miserable ache of travelling away fan self-pity.
13 Alphonse Areola, 4 Kurt Zouma, 31 Ben Johnson, 41 Declan Rice (c), 15 Craig Dawson, 23 Issa Diop, 8 Pablo Fornals, 10 Manuel Lanzini, 28 Tomas Souček, 9 Michail Antonio, 20 Jarrod Bowen
Substitutes:, 11 Nikola Vlašić, 22 Saïd Benrahma
Goalscorer: Michail Antonio
