FIDDLING KIDDERMINSTER
Emirates FA Cup 4th Round
Kidderminster Harriers 1 West Ham 2
The moment the Kidderminster Harriers ball was pulled from the spinning goldfish bowl, pulses started to race across the eastern section of the capital. Kidderminster, Hereford United, Farnborough Town, Stockport County and Emley – all lower league outfits that have equipped themselves over the years against West Ham. Although West Ham have yet to lose a competitive fixture against a non-league side, this looks like the most bananerama of skins that a badly-paid ex-Pro might pull out of a hat.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and here we are, in Black Country county. I opted to not attend the game, though I am well aware that bananas are good for alleviating bouts of stomach cramp. Instead I find myself watching the game live on my phone aboard a Merseyrail train from Southport to Kirkland. It’s a good place to hide if anything should go wrong.
Looks like I made the right decision twenty minutes into the game as Alex Penny calmly steers the momentarily loose ball into the unguarded net following an early Kidderminster attack. The local fans are out in their thousands and the atmosphere is deafening. West Ham have a very respectful side out, with just Mark Noble making the early cut from the wider squad. The club captain was already looking over his shoulder at Declan Rice on the bench as the ball hit the back of the net.
Kidderminster manager Russell Penn cuts a sharp-edged dark figure against the skyline. Scoring that early goal has clearly not fazed him. Goalkeeper Luke Simpson is unsurprisingly busy in the first half, but faces nothing that threatens to disarm him. VlašIc is beginning to look like a maybe front line figure as he plays neat passes off the ball in his effort to mount a worthy attack. Bowen has two efforts that end with a brilliant save from the Kidderminster keeper Simpson.
Time roars on and it would appear that the equaliser may not actually be coming. Ten minutes from time though, Yarmolenko is pole-danced in the area after a challenge by Nathan Cameron, which turns out to be a push that wouldn’t have upended a child of three. Shocking. Actually, embarrassing. Then Luke Simpson makes a staggering save from a ricochet from a Benrahma shot who’d looked initially like he’d finally breached the Kidderminster defence. Maybe it’s going to be their day. How to explain this after such a great season?
Then the substitute Fornals plays a brilliant one-two in stoppage time with Declan Rice… and that is the heartbreaking equaliser. But a brilliant goal from Rice who looked just the. Like a thirty goals a season striker. What a brilliant finish.
And so to extra time, and incredibly West Ham do it again, finding a way past the tired legs of their Conference League opponents as Bowen finds a winning tap-in following a skirmish after Yarmolenko’s shot has proved too hot to handle for Simpson, and Cresswell has turned it back into the six yard box.
Moyes doesn’t celebrate but the travelling Hammers fans seem to think they may have finally clinched the promised Champions League place. What a strange bunch they are.
13 Alphonse Areola, 4 Kurt Zouma, 31 Ben Johnson, 16 Mark Noble (c), 23 Issa Diop, 22 Saïd Benrahma, 24 Ryan Fredericks, 33 Alex Kral, 7 Andriy Yarmolenko, 11 Nikola Vlašić, 20 Jarrod Bowen
Substitutes: 3 Aaron Cresswell, 41 Declan Rice, 8 Pablo Fornals, 15 Craig Dawson, 28 Tomas Souček
Goalscorers: Declan Rice, Jarrod Bowen
