ON BEES KNEES
Brentford 3 West Ham 2
For West Ham, Brighton, now that they have been overcome, are beginning to look like small fry alongside Brentford, who up until today have a 100% success record against West Ham in the Premier League. Four games, four wins. Only one goal conceded. And starting for them this afternoon is Neal Maupay, who has scored against the Hammers wearing both Everton and Brighton shirts. Indeed his last goal in the Premier League was a rare netting for Everton, the club who have loaned him to Brentford. Because he hasn’t been scoring goals very regularly for them. Actually his goal against West Ham for them last season, the only goal of that match, is the only Everton goal he ever scored. And that was fourteen months ago.
So I think we know what is on the cards this afternoon. Especially as West Ham are without the suspended Álvarez, and Lucas Paquetá. Brentford are also high on two successive victories over Burnley and a second 2023 win at Chelsea. This promises to be a high-scoring exciting game, with many mistakes. The side making more will lose it. You can see where I’m going with this.
The first goal of the game is not long in coming. There are just 11 minutes on the clock when a miss hit shot by Onyeka bounces invitingly towards, yes, you’ve guessed it, Maupay. He scores, yes, you’ve guessed it, his first goal in his second spell at Brentford. Is that the shortest ever period of time a striker has scored against West Ham for three different clubs in the Premier League? Don’t bother looking. It is.
And guess what happens now? West Ham start to play football. Who knew that was possible? Who knew Antonio would hit a cross to the far post for Kudus to acrobatically bury with a delicious overhead finish. Who knew? And then, who knew Kudus would seven minutes later knee the ball past Brentford keeper Flekken only for it to come back off the post, where Bowen is waiting to exquisitely poach a second. There is the not unexpected five minutes’ VAR pontification while referee Thomas Bramall considers whether Bowen might have handled the ball before slotting it home. But it’s okay. It’s a goal. And there could be more a few minutes later, with Antonio and Benrahma arriving at the far post at the same moment, making firm contact with each other rather than the ball, as the goal gapes like a Thames Water sewer seal. That miss will be reflected on at length in the second half.
Ah yes, the second half. What is happening? Brentford suddenly realise they have a height advantage less than 10 minutes in, when Mavropanus, the tallest player on the pitch rises to head past Areola, despite ending up under Nathan Collins’ higher leap. Then, a quarter of an hour on, Collins rises again, this time to himself head powerfully into the top corner from Jensen’s exquisite cross. All the clichés dance in heads more creative than West Ham’s entire midfield this half. Snatched from the jaws, indeed.
You might conclude at the final whistle that this was entertainment beyond the most extreme of wishes of the neutral tourist football fan, of which there are plenty here this afternoon, sporting their half and half scarves. Then again, you might wonder how West Ham have screwed this one up and come away with nothing. Because they have.
13 Alphonse Areola, 33 Emerson, 15 dinos Mavropanos, 5 Vladimir Coufal, 27 Nayef Aguerd, 7 James Ward Prowse (captain), 28 Tomas Souček, 22 Saïd Benrahma 14 Mohammed Kudus, 20 Jarrod Bowen, 9 Michail Antonio
Substitutes: 8 Pablo Fornals, 18 Danny Ings
Goalscorers: 14 Mohammed Kudus, 20 Jarrod Bowen
