BELGIAN BUMS ON RIPPED OUT SEATS
West Ham 2 Anderlecht 1
Belgium is famous for three things, as far as I can see. Jacques Brel, tons of concrete and local parks full of dog schitt. Their capital Brussels also produced a team who were quite good in the 70s and robbed us of what would have been a second European title in 1976.
Two things seem likely from this game, the second time we have played them in a week. The first is that West Ham will get the point they need to qualify for the knock out stages of the Conference League. The second is a goal from Jarrod Bowen which will establish him as West Ham’s greatest ever European striker with 6 goals, easing him ahead of such Hammers’ notables as Budgie Byrne, David Cross and Brian Dear (and he has managed that incredible achievement in less than a single calendar year).
There is a third thing likely, too, involving the Anderlecht fans and flares, not the sartorial kind, that clearly guaranteed a decent turn out of Metropolitan Bobbies. Plenty to view then, as well as a round of solid tunes, exhibited by our now resident DJ, [Gary Bloke] and a pretty decent light show, too.
The game begins at a leisurely pace, Hammers stroking the ball around with training ground precision, and a focus on turning each move into an attack. Cresswell and Coufal operate as wing backs, both running the risk of ending up in an offside position several times in the first quarter of an hour. As it concludes, Hammers win a free kick on the edge of the area which Cresswell and Benrahma stand over, scheming. Benrahma’s stand out performance last season was away to another Belgian club Genk, who he hit the target twice against on their ground. Tonight he has the goal in his sights as he steps up to take the kick, his strike curling in the air before dropping expertly into the lower far corner of the net.
A quarter of an hour later, a well constructed passing move finds Bowen loose in the box, and he turns on it with athleticism to steer the ball into the other corner to the one he was facing, tricking the goalkeeper and hitting the back of the other side of the net. Wow. It just looks so simple when Moyes’ magicians do that kind of stuff. Paquetá and Benrahma tap their way round the edge of the pitch, pirouetting and dancing past the mesmerised Belgian defenders until half-time arrives to at least temporarily put them out of their collective dumbfounded misery.
The second half is another fine display of passing eloquence that does not let Anderlecht or their mercurial striker Fábio Silva (wearing 99) in for anything meaningful. At least not until the final minute when Esposito slots home a ludicrous penalty, this one awarded against Ben Johnson for an accurate ball-winning tackle against the Spaniard on the edge of the area. There is no VAR at the group stage of this competition but as it’s the first significant referee’s decision that has gone against them, Rice and Moyes make no complaints. All that’s left to do for the visiting fans is to light a few more flares and rip out a stack of London Stadium seats. Safe journey home, guys.
The maths now is simple. West Ham have qualified for the knockout stages with two games to spare, and need a single point from their final two games to get a bye through to the last sixteen of this competition. Seems a long time since that defeat at the City Ground back in August.
13 Alphonse Areola, 2 Ben Johnson, 3 Aaron Cresswell (captain), 5 Vladimir Coufal, 11 Lucas Paquetá, 12 Flynn Downes, 21 Angelo Ogbonna, 33 Emerson, 10 Manuel Lanzini, 20 Jarrod Bowen, 22 Saïd Benrahma
Substitutes: 15 Craig Dawson, 7 Gianluca Scamacca, 41 Declan Rice, 28 Tomas Souček
Goalscorers: Saïd Benrahma, Jarrod Bowen
