SOMETHING PLASTIC IN THE STATE OF DENMARK
Silkeborg IF 2 West Ham 3
Despite my intentions of getting to every West Ham away game in this year’s Europa Conference League adventure, there was something about the way my iPhone started to smoulder, after the draw, when I typed in ‘Silkeborg IF’ into Google Maps. It all suggested this might not be a journey I’d be making. The travelling time, even with all sections of the route covered, came out at ONE DAY. From St.Pancras International, a Eurostar to Brussels, a train to Aachen Central Station (Germany), then one to Düren, then to Cologne, then Hamburg, onto Kiel Central and finally to Risby South (still in Germany). Then to Flensburg on the Danish border, then to Fredericia, onto Skanderborg ending with a six stop train journey to Silkeborg. You’d then need a hotel, as the first bus to the Region Hospital in Silkeborg won’t arrive for another four and a half hours. When you got off at the hospital, you’d still have a 39 minute walk (1.7 miles) to the ground. A ground with an artificial pitch. And, small point though it may be, what if the team were to lose on it?
So I decided that I would watch the game at home, live on BT Sport. For me, this would prove to be a football match I would remember for being the one after which I decided to go see our sovereign, Elizabeth II, lying in state. But more about that later. Let’s get into what happened in the game first.
Surprisingly, it’s Silkeborg who are quickest to adapt to their own plastic pitch, and while Rice burns, Silkeborg take a fifth minute lead, a ball across from the left slotted home by Kasper Kusk, with the West Ham defenders looking like stationary chess pieces in the rain. To make matters worse, I discover that this is the first time they’ve competed in European competition for twenty years, and already a goal to the good.
Thankfully, within six minutes West Ham are level, Cornet upended trying to get on the end of a Coufal cross, and Manuel Lanzini tucks the penalty home neatly into the left corner.
The early home team lead is soon history as Scamacca volleys home Cornet’s cross into the top corner of the goal beyond the flailing arms of Nicolai Larsen. Minutes later West Ham push forward again and Emerson’s shot is clawed away for a corner by the Silkeborg keeper. It’s just a brief respite for the Danish side, however, as Cresswell’s ensuing corner is headed home at the near post by Craig Dawson. It’s a poorly kept secret that Dawson wishes to return to the North West to spend more time with his family, but for the moment he and his number 15 shirt are both ours. Ballon d’Awson.
It is after the 38th minute goal, and the two goal cushion that it facilitates, that I make the decision. My good mate Steve from Shepherd’s Bush across the green decided on Tuesday that he would make the journey over to Westminster Hall to catch a glimpse of Her Majesty Elizabeth II, there this week to give all her subjects a chance to say goodbye in person. And why wouldn’t you want to?
The queue is a possible reason, as it has been starting anywhere between Bermondsey (Zone 2) and a mile short of Tower Bridge. Steve went mid-afternoon because the wait time was estimated at a conservative eight hours. I can do that. Except that the estimate time is not functioning on the website at the moment. But West Ham have now been 3-1 up since half-time, and I’m pretty sure that that’ll be it on the goals front for this game, as we move into the last twenty minutes. I have decided to travel on the overground from Isleworth, which means I can follow the audio commentary on my phone as I head to Waterloo, before catching the jubilee line to Bermondsey.
I am just two minutes from the station when the live commentary reveals that Silkeborg have just scored a second. Well of course they have. Why would you be surprised? And there’s still a quarter of an hour to go. Søren Tengstedt has tapped the ball home after Areola couldn’t hold on to Tonni Adamsen’s fierce shot. To add insult to injury, I have forgotten my headphones, so I have to listen to the last fifteen minutes with the phone jammed into my ear. I look around the carriage. Why is no one else listening to the game? People sometimes have no sense of priority.
Punch drunk from the unnecessary nightmare finish, I am finally relieved to make out the final whistle is just about heard under the guard’s monotone announcement that this train will not be stopping at Queenstown Road. So just the small matter to contend with of queueing across Westminster for a few hours to pay my respects to the woman who has been our Queen since before I was born.
13 Alphonse Ariola, 3 Aaron Cresswell, 5 Vladimir Coufal, 7 Gianluca Scamacca, 11 Lucas Paquetá, 14 Maxwel Cornet, 15 Craig Dawson, 24 Thilo Kehrer, 10 Manuel Lanzini, 33 Emerson, 41 Declan Rice (Captain)
Substitutes: 8 Pablo Fornals, 20 Jarrod Bowen, 22 Saïd Benrahma, 28 Tomas Souček, 32 Conor Coventry
Goalscorers: Manuel Lanzini (penalty), Gianluca Scamacca, Craig Dawson
Westminster Hall, 10.51am, Friday 16th September 2022.
